A New Day, A New You part 1

“Hi me, it’s Stuart but you know that because you can probably remember making this video. The man in the next room wants me to make this before I leave and head off to god knows where. I’m pretty pathetic but at this point I have nothing more to lose, I hate my life, I hate myself and I don’t even find anything remotely interesting anymore. Again you remember but he said I should talk about how I feel now before we leave since I won’t be able to for a while. He said he’s going to help change me, make me a better me than I could be on my own. Considering I hate the current me I figure a deal with the devil is probably the best route. Remember them Stuart; remember the girls who ignored you and remember that Richard isn’t your friend despite what he keeps saying. If he was a friend he wouldn’t have kept doing what he did,” I end the video recording.

Junior year in college to current day

Hi there, I’m Stuart Wolfric and I’m currently attending college at UCLA. At an average 5’10” inches and pushing closer to 300 pounds of overweight mass than I’d like, I’m not exactly what the world wanted me to be or even what I’d hoped I would be. I started at UCLA after two years of community college and on my first day I made what I thought would be the first of many new friends, Richard Abernathy. If I’m not what I hoped to be Richard is exactly what every guy wanted to be standing at 6’1” and built like he was cast down from Olympus to live among mere mortals the first time we met was when I was bringing in my last box and he was ushering out an attractive Asian girl from his room.

“Hey you’re my new roommate,” He said happily shaking my hand.

“Yeah I guess so,” I answered and he kept smiling.

“Well let me tell you right now I don’t do the fraternity thing and I need a good wingman, I’ll take you around to the best parties and if you ever need someone to make sure you get a good word in with the ladies don’t hesitate to ask man,” Richard informed me before hopping into the shower.

Living with Richard was great for a while. He coasted through his classes because he had money, correction his family had money and he spent it on the good life. The benefit is that he took me along with him and made sure that as roommates we were living well. I didn’t eat cafeteria food since he usually had food in the fridge and when he partied I went with him. I didn’t see how different we were until I realized that while I was drinking for free and while there was a lot of talking going on I wasn’t talking at all. I met some girls, slept with a few but the next morning is when the regret and the ‘don’t call me I’ll call you’ came out as they left. It sucked but Richard was always right there next morning telling me I was one of the guys. It was a month or two in that I discovered Richard’s door needed to be revolving because women came and went. Other guys didn’t like Richard but you didn’t square off with the combination of money, good looks and the fact that Richard could fight. I learned that one after he was ‘caught’ with another guy’s girlfriend and he beat the boyfriend’s ass then took two girls home with him that night.

“Hey if she really wanted to be with him she wouldn’t have been on her knees in front of me. And besides its college, this is where we’re supposed to go have fun and after this we start going off to find the future Mrs. Abernathy or Wolfric,” Richard explained and while it made sense I wasn’t so sure.

Richard and I were cutting a path through the party scene, more like he was cutting a path through and I was in his wake and watching the fun. It was right after the holidays that I met the first of the trio of pain for my heart: Trinity Stigers. I’ve been told that black girls have attitude but when she pulled me aside and asked for help with her computer science class I decided to take a chance and we began spending our study hours together. To describe Trinity is to think of a 5’9” black female with short cropped hair and a lean build thanks to her spot starting on the women’s basketball team. We learned quite a bit about each other over the weeks and she casually tried to get me to ‘shape up’ while I helped her with her class. We would laugh and smile and more than once we’d share a meal when I figured out I actually liked her and that’s when mistake one occurred, I asked Richard for advice. He listened to everything I had to say and asked questions about her so he could figure out how I could approach her for a real date. I took his advice to heart and waited till after we got her past a big test in her class. I had my plan and sure enough I waited till after classes were out so I could swing by her place and invite her out to dinner. I arrived at about six on foot and when I knocked on the door her roommate answered it.

“Hey there Caitlin is Trinity here,” I asked hopeful.

“Yeah but she’s quite a bit busy to be tutored right now,” Caitlin informs me with a bit of an attitude.

That’s when I heard it, the sound of a woman taking everything a man can give her and showing her appreciation for it. I knew Trinity’s voice but the male voice I knew even better as he asked her if she liked it, Richard was having sex with Trinity. Caitlin backed me up out of the doorway and closed it after herself as she was probably heading out. I didn’t get a second look from Caitlin as she left but I did stand there wondering what to do and why Richard would have sex with Trinity when he knew I would be asking her out. When I heard the doors inside Trinity’s place start closing and conversation of a non coitus nature I decided to leave and headed back to my room to sulk. I was on beer number three when Richard came in and looked at me funny.

“Dude I thought you were going to take that girl out,” Richard asked confused.

“I would but when I went to ask her she was busy being serviced by you,” I informed him a little hot.

“Wait that Trinity? Dude I had no clue it was her you were asking. We got to talking in the gym a couple days ago and it just happened. I’m not going to date her but you should still ask her out,” Richard said trying to be supportive.

I didn’t respond I was so pissed at the time I couldn’t even think of how he was a complete asshole to me. He knew who she was because I gave him everything he needed to know before he made his move. I didn’t speak to him the whole weekend and when Trinity came around next Tuesday to thank me for helping her I shrugged her off.

“Hey Stuart you’re a nice guy and you’re smart, maybe if you tried a little harder you’d be someone a girl would want to date you,” was the last words Trinity left me with before heading back to her dorm room.

The tutoring stopped but more so because she didn’t need it and I didn’t care. Richard and I were on rocky ground as friends and when he started apologizing every time he saw me and it’s hard to stay mad with someone when they’re buying you the beer that you’re drinking on your off time. Richard and I got back into a groove and it was only a month later when and we’re out at a party, yes another one, where the second in the trio of pain came into my life: Soledad Dominguez.

“This music would be better if they lightened up on the bass and used a bit more treble,” My first words to the 5’4” Latin girl with black hair and green highlights.

“No fucking shit right,” She replied over the boom and smiled at me.

We talked, mostly away from the music, and it was nice. She is majoring in Music and I told her about some software I saw that allowed you to adjust the music without dials and toggles and the debate started about digitization ruining music.

“If you take all the technology out then it becomes folk music,” I argued and she was right on me.

“I’m not saying take it all out but there were real musicians that are famous to our generation but today they’d be out on their asses because they’re art is doesn’t have enough work done on it,” Sol countered.

It was a spirited debate and when we both agreed that there needed to be more of a middle ground she surprised me with a kiss. We were outside on a bench in the park near the party kissing when we heard drunken revelers coming our way and she asked if we could go somewhere more private. We almost made it back to my room when a drunk in the hall projectile vomited and the spray got me a bit. Soledad was sympathetic and I had to scramble to save the evening.

“Listen let me shower quick and change out of the clothes and you can wait in my room before we try this again,” I offered hopefully and she smiled letting me know that things would be good tonight.

Sadly they weren’t, Richard had just wrapped up with his date by the fact that they had a clothing trail leading from the couch to his room and there was no loud moaning or screaming since the door was cracked open. Soledad noticed it and when I let her into my room and grabbed a towel to dry off with before heading to the shower. Record shower it was but sadly not quick enough as I was out in ten minutes and as soon as I hit our ‘living room’ I noted a brunette picking up her clothing and muttering about an asshole. I didn’t pay much attention to it but as soon as I opened my door and saw that Sol wasn’t there the sound of another conversation hit my ears.

“God your mouth is so little, take it deeper,” I heard coming from Rich’s room.

I told myself don’t look but I couldn’t help it and went over to the door anyway. There was my date Sol on Richard’s bed taking every inch of him in her mouth while he held a handful of her hair as her head bobbed up and down. I step away from the door and start to head back into my room when the girl getting dressed is about to leave.

“Hey, who is she anyway,” the brunette asked quietly.

“Nobody I want to know now,” was my only reply and she frowns.

“That sucks man, well good luck getting any while you room with that asshole,” She tells me before stepping out of the apartment.

I closed the door to my bedroom hard and apparently that stopped them from having the louder sex that I had grown accustomed to from Richard. I slept pretty poorly and got ready to head out and hit the computer lab before anyone woke up. My luck however didn’t pan out and I ended up face to face with the two assholes. Soledad stood there with a quiet and sad expression but Richard was quick to try to save face.

“Hey Stuart I didn’t know she was with you last night, I thought Nikki brought her as back up for me,” Richard said playing off his actions like an accident.

“Whatever Richard, you said it yourself it’s just college and why should I give a damn if every time I bring a girl home or show interest you make it a point to fuck her so I can get stuck with used goods,” I stated back sarcastically.

“Listen Stuart I’m really sorry about…,” Soledad started in but I was out the door with a slam and that was it for us.

Months went by and while Richard was his happy go lucky self everywhere else I didn’t party with him anymore. I also stopped drinking his beer and eating his food
which made him feel bad for some reason. We barely spoke as finals approached and part of that is because of pain number three: Stephanie Volence. Stephanie or Steph was my English literature student teacher; she was there to get her masters and was doing some actual teaching along with helping others on their studies. We spoke often and one of the reasons I wasn’t talking to Richard is because I was talking to Steph. Every day working up to finals I was welcomed to the sight of her 5’9” and ample curves in simple skirts and tops in class, her blonde hair normally done in a pony tail and reading glasses perched on her nose. She wasn’t super big either but that nice middle ground where you can cuddle a woman and it was her sweet nature that kept drawing me in when I decided to take a chance.

“Hey Stephanie, I was wondering since you’re not a teacher if I could ask you out on a dinner date sometime,” I asked her as the class was cleared out of everyone save for us.

“Well I don’t date students in my classes,” I felt heartbroken a little but she picked me back up again,” However you pass your final and we’ll go out after that.”

“Really, night after grades post and you’ll go on a date me,” I asked again feeling better than I have in a while.

“Absolutely, you pass the class and we’ll go out to dinner,” she told me and I was happier than I’ve been in a while.

Back at my place even Richard was benefit of my new and better mood. I was getting everything ready for the date, decent clothes and had made plans for a nice place with my meager funds. Richard the whole time kept asking me for details and I wouldn’t tell him anything, just that we had a class together. Finally we were actually talking about finals and I let it slip that I had a date if I passed my English Lit class.

“Dude going right for the summer of love, well I haven’t done English Lit since second year so you have fun and get after it,” Richard told me being his usual crass but happy self.

Finals week passed and I waited patiently to see the scores posted and without surprise I passed my classes but for once English Lit was one of my highest scores. When I texted Steph to let her know she replied that she already knew and that and we started a text war of who should pick up whom later today. I gave her my room and she gave me her address, I offered to walk there and she wanted to pick me up. We made all these plans but I said I would go get her from her place today and as I ready myself Richard is in his room doing nothing I care to know about as I head out. I’m on foot half way there and discover a twenty on the ground which gives me a great idea, flowers. I stop at a local place and pick up a nice summer bouquet and resume my walk. I get to her place, it’s the right address but nobody is home and no car in the parking spot for her apartment. I head back towards my room and while it was forty five minutes there it’s only thirty back since I’m not buying flowers on the return trip. I check my phone and see no messages from Stephanie as I get to my dorm and when I get inside I note that my door is closed but so is Richard’s. I can hear something coming from his room and make the final mistake of checking to save myself some pain and face.

“Richard this has to be the last time, Stuart is a nice guy and I like him so one more time and then I have to scramble to get home so he can pick me up,” I hear Stephanie’s voice come through the door and my world stops.

“I know and I didn’t think it was you he was going to go out with but he wouldn’t tell me shit. At least we get one final ride out of it before you settle down,” I hear the words come out of Richard’s mouth and I’m filled with a cold fire.

I heard everything standing a foot away from the door. All the moaning, bed creaking and dirty talk I’d come to expect from Richard and a bit that I didn’t from Stephanie. They were going at it for forty minutes when finally the tell tale sound of Richard dumping his little Richard’s in to Stephanie, not sure if he had protection or not but I wasn’t going to touch her after that and the two of them go about picking up their mess. I turned and made my way out of the room waiting across the hall with my crappy flowers and stupid dress clothes waiting for the date that fucked around so that she wouldn’t be disappointed with me if I was even close to being lucky that night. I heard them talking a little bit and pull myself off the wall as the door to the dorm room opens and they both get a face full of me standing there waiting to enter the room.

“Oh shit,” Is the only thing that came out of Richard’s mouth while Stephanie tried to pick up the pieces.

“Listen Stuart, this isn’t a bad thing. I needed to be done with Richard and now I am,” Stephanie tried to explain hopefully,” Let’s go back to my apartment and I’ll make you dinner and we can talk.”

I smiled at her, she was a little shocked but happy at first at that and more so when I held out the flowers for her. I let her take a step forward before allowing the bouquet I bought to fall to the floor and my smile drop from my face. Richard standing there in his tank top and workout shorts and Stephanie in her nice blouse and skirt both have the awkward look of wanting to talk but there are no words that will make me feel like anything other than a fool. Stephanie reaches for me but I shrug her hand off my arm and push past Richard into my dorm room but not before grabbing a six pack of his beer. A slam of my door and I start my private date night alone.

I got a few messages from Stephanie over the next few days and Richard wanted to talk with me but I didn’t care enough to even say goodbye to him as he was heading back home to visit Mummy and Daddy for the summer. I did get a note on the fridge with a cash card from him apologizing and offering me the card so I could eat over the summer. After all the fucking around on me it’s apparent now that the food and booze is the bribe for putting up with his traitorous ass and I still have another year with the asshole unless I can get a room change. Now did I use the card, yes. Did I max it out, no I need to eat so I bought the two most important things to me right then, bad food and beer. I spent three or four days constantly drunk and at one point I tried to break into Richard’s room to fuck with his life in some small way but the locked door was too much for my inebriated state and I had to settle for spending his money on a pizza. I didn’t try to go out or socialize at all and the one time I went to a store I almost ran into Stephanie. She looked good but then she always did, I however didn’t have it in me to talk to her and when she finally noticed me the look of sadness on her face almost turned me to shoplifting to get away with my goods. Back home and the time was O’Beer thirty and I had been looking at everything from porn to fucked up shit people do for fun on the internet when I figured I should look into apprenticeships so I can do something for the summer. All the computer ones were taken and then I decide to start sending in applications for Richard with some of the most ridiculous things I could come up with when I hit a site that shocked the hell out of me. First thing I saw was my face in video on my own web cam when it started taking pictures. I almost pulled the plug when a voice started.

“Look at this fat and lazy piece of shit, sitting in his college dorm room living on Hostess, pizza and piss water beer. I swear if you get any bigger your penis is going to become an innie and then you’ll have a pussy to fuck,” the automated voice was good, better than I’d heard and I was dumb enough to talk back.

“Fuck you asshole,” I spat at my own computer.

“And now you’re swearing at your computer, are you normally this sad and pathetic or is this a new occurrence in your usually fat and lazy life,” the computer voice sneered at me.

We argued, yes I was arguing with my own computer but considering it turned on me like everything else I might as well. After the belittling comments and insults with my swearing retorts it finally said something new.

“So are you going to sit around your whole life and be this much of a waste or do you plan to do something with yourself,” it asked me and I remember crying,” Oh god stop that, listen I’m going to go because I can’t stand to hear a grown man weep so have a good one kiddo.”

The voice stopped and crying myself to sleep that night didn’t help how I felt the next morning. I was having a beer in frosted flakes breakfast when I tried to find the site again but it was gone. I went through my history and there wasn’t anything there. I took my computer apart and put it back together and still I couldn’t figure out what happened. There were no pictures or messages and my history was completely missing everything that I had done yesterday from having ‘Richard’ apply for apprenticeships as a sheep herder in Scotland to the insulting page. It was a great problem that I no clue where to begin to solve as I finished off my beers for the evening and when I tried to stand I fell into bed instead for a deeper sleep than I’ve had in a while.

“My god this place is horrible, I thought I had it shitty in college,” I hear a voice say a little quieter than normal for my head.

“This is why we had you live with us in college honey, this is what happens when you binge on beer and junk food,” a female voice says and I start to realize that I don’t
know any of these voices.

“Sir I think it’s alive,” the quiet voice says as the blanket is pulled off of me and I recoil from the light.

I’m blinded by the sunlight coming through my windows and more than a little shocked at the three people in my room that opened the curtain so the sunlight could enter.