A Chance Meeting_(1)

Searching the internet one day I was on a site that I frequently visit to scour 2nd hand items for my resale shop and became curious about the relationship area. To my amazement, this area was a rude awakening to my all but virgin-esq ways.

My husband died in a tragic work accident 23 years ago. My children were small at the time just 6 and 8 years old. Since my husband had passed, I devoted my full attention to my boys, never dating, never even allowing the opportunity. I was so determined about making sure my boys were taken care of that emotionally, I forgot all about myself. While I never let myself slip physically, which is to say I regularly kept up with hair, make up, and nails…it was, in the beginning, an emotional front. While I was dead inside, outwardly I had to present a well taken care of and stable person for the sake of my boys. My boys were the sole purpose for not falling totally apart.

For all that this site was, it provided me with a source of entertainment on a daily basis. The boys were now in their late 20’s, early 30’s….to be exact Mark was 29 and Jason was 31, so their reliance on me had been gone for several years. To occupy my time I started reselling things and as time passed I needed new outlets for finding things thus bringing me to this site.

While most times these “posts” struck me as repulsive, I could not resist the source of entertainment they provided. After a couple of weeks, I started replying to these. Rather the ones that I found interesting. Sometimes they read to be genuine and I would reply as such only to find they weren’t, others were so out there that I would respond simply to delve into the character of these people. As I said this was a huge source of entertainment and became a daily obsession really. 23 years of practically being stored away in some closed off world from anything sexual, I was enamored by this site. I had no idea that people would openly request such things! They would gladly send pictures, phone numbers and would go into great detail of all they could do for a female. I was amazed!
After several weeks, I came across one that simply said “who’s lonely”? For reasons I will never know, it was as if my insides were screaming I AM, I AM!!…… And so it began.
The meat of the post was equally as captivating as the subject line. This man was asking for someone to enjoy conversation with, gave no indication of alterrior motives, no requests for pictures or asking what I was looking for in a man, it seemed as straight forward as I was. It appeared he wanted nothing but interaction. I HAD TO REPLY.
In our inital emails, we exchanged fairly basic information. Age, things that we liked, tastes in food, music, styles just things like that. The odd thing was, here is a man of which our ages was just less than 20 years, I was 52 and he claimed 35 yet our conversations were very easy, it always flowed and generally a couple times a day. We had both found something in each other, something that he was looking for and that I had began to crave with each passing day. I never realized what I was missing. For 23 years I was gone, then hardened, then numbed to male interaction. I realized when we didn’t communicate for several days just how much I craved this. We always picked up where we left off. Though I missed our daily emails I never asked where or why, I was just happy to continue.
After about a month and a half of these daily emails, he asked me to describe myself. This was truly a big step for me, all this time, this had been “safe”, and I did blindly assume that it could go on forever this way. He wasn’t asking pictures only a description so he could imagine a figure with whom he was talking. Even with my age and wisdom, I reflected that this request was still safe, likely normal, and I couldn’t escape the fact that I also wanted to imagine more. While I found it easy to describe myself, I couldn’t help but imagine how it would be received yet it felt oddly right. So I described myself……..
I am 5’5, shoulder length brown hair, blue eyes, well kept, 160 lbs. I regularly wear make up and always fix my hair. Sometimes I wear glasses and others contacts, slightly olive skin tone and curvacious! I re read it several times just to make sure I had it right for me. When I read what I wrote, it was dead on. Even at 52 years old I did think I had a nice figure, descent features and overall was happy with how I looked. When I looked in the mirror, rarely did I want to change me. In my opinion, I was a solid 6.5, I was no beauty contestant but I wasn’t to shabby either. I gave myself the extra .5 because of my legs, thighs, and hips, I had aged….but no doubt well! I ended the email with “your turn” and a smiley face. I will never know why I put a p.s. on there but I couldn’t resist, maybe it was feeling proud of my description, maybe it was not wanting to leaving anything out, possibly I wanted to give all of this conversation a hook, but I couldn’t and didn’t resist….p.s. 34c.

I spent the rest of the evening up until bed, questioning my forwardness. 35 I kept telling myself, why would he possibly want that information? As I showered I openly said to myself ….STUPID! The one fact that seemed to keep my sanity though is that it felt good to be that reckless, it made me feel “that” again. “That” had been a mystery for 23 years and as I washed over my breasts, differently tonight than many nights in the past “that” was very clear. So many nights before this, showering had been a means to the end of a day, it was going through the motions, the motions of hygiene, of refreshing myself after a day of caring for everyone but me, but tonight there was a tingle, and it was front and center!